My pseudonym

I write under the pseudonyms of "Bic" and "Papermate".

Those are my pen names. 

Sommelier Jobs

If you type a search into monster.com for the esteemed wine position of "Sommelier", the first result is featured employer, Taco Bell.  

New joke

I was going to be a suicide bomber when I grow up.  But my career ended up being a dud.

I wanted to be an actor that plays suicide bombers, but my career never blew up. 

If I publish these jokes, will the FBI come to my house?  Or even worse, TSA? 

Can I get a laugh for world peace? 

Old joke

I heard an old joke about a terrorist:

After the war, I met a suicide bomber.  He went on six missions. 

Tasting wine

If I really want to taste wine like the consumer does, I should drink it from the bottle.

Water parks

Water parks are going to be opening this year for the first time without any operating bathrooms.

When asked why, the water park commented, "You all don't use them, anyways."

My wine drinking buddies and I have a secret handshake.

We pound our fists together and say, "Ching!"